CLIENT CASE STUDY: The Flowers She Bought Herself - A Story About Self-Worth and Celebration
Self celebration is a topic which we can easily brush over. It’s often seen as frivolous, but I believe it is essential to us feeling our essence and stepping into the world - shining like we can.
This is a story of how a client began celebrating herself, and what this meant for her and her success.
I always include the bigger picture because these things are never just an ‘individual problem’, and at the end you’ll find tips you can use immediately to start exploring this topic. Enjoy.
A while ago, I was working with a client who was right in the middle of setting up her own business. She was smart, brave, creative — and completely unable to see it. In our sessions, what became clear wasn’t that she lacked skill or drive. It was that she didn’t value herself.
She downplayed her progress. Brushed over her achievements. She was doing big things — taking risks, building something from scratch, showing up every day — and yet, not once had she paused to acknowledge herself.
At the time, I was writing Fears to Fierce, and the idea of celebrating yourself — truly celebrating — was living strongly in me. So I asked her gently: What would it look like if you honoured yourself? What would it feel like to really see and celebrate your wins — even the small ones?
She took that question with her.
The next time we met, her face was different. A bit brighter and lighter. She told me she had gone out and bought herself flowers. At first, she said, she reached for the cheapest bouquet — the kind she felt she "should" go for. But then she paused. She remembered what we’d talked about: how celebration isn’t frivolous, it’s fundamental. It’s about value. About saying I matter — not just in words, but in action.
So she put the bouquet back. And chose the most beautiful, most expensive flowers in the shop.
When she told me, her whole face lit up. It wasn’t just the flowers. It was the decision to stop underestimating herself.
Why This Matters: The Link Between Self-Celebration and Wellbeing
This story might sound simple, but it touches something deeper — something we don’t talk about enough. Self-celebration is not indulgent. It’s not a luxury. It’s a practice of reclaiming your worth.
Neuroscience tells us that reward systems in the brain activate when we feel recognised — not just by others, but by ourselves. According to psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion (which includes celebration and acknowledgment) is strongly linked to emotional resilience and lower levels of anxiety and depression.¹
And when we internalise our sense of value, our body responds. The nervous system moves from hypervigilance (the stress of always trying to “prove” ourselves) into a more regulated state. That’s where clarity, creativity, and courage come from.
In somatic terms, when we celebrate ourselves, we are literally signalling to the body: I am safe. I am seen. I am worth care. This is vital for healing and for performance.
The Bigger Picture: Why We Resist It
So why is self-celebration so hard?
Part of it is cultural. Many of us — especially in patriarchal systems — have learned to equate humility with silence, and worth with external validation. We’re told not to boast. Not to “get ahead of ourselves.” Not to “make a fuss.”
But those ideas are rooted in a model that serves systems, not people. They are not the truth.
And when you grow up in environments where your emotional or social needs weren’t consistently met, it’s natural to search for validation from others — to wonder if you’re “allowed” to feel good about yourself without someone else’s approval. This isn’t weakness. This is profoundly human. And trusting your body to know who it feels safe with — who you can let yourself fall with — is an act of wisdom. Not isolation. We heal in connection.
Isolation may look strong, but it erodes us over time. Real strength is in vulnerability and honesty — including the honesty to say, I’m proud of what I did today.
What You Can Try Today
Here are some small but powerful ways to celebrate yourself now — even if it feels awkward at first:
Buy yourself something you love, just because you made it through a hard week.
Write down three things you’re proud of, however small. Do it daily. Read it back aloud.
Take up space. Stand taller. Let yourself be seen, even in a small way.
Share a win with someone who sees you. Don’t minimise it.
Ask yourself: if I were to honour myself today, what would that look like? Then do it.
And if it helps, remember this: the parts of you that feel different or “too much” are not your flaws — they’re often the roots of your magic. You don’t need to be less of yourself to be worthy. You don’t need to wait for permission to feel proud.
Celebrating yourself is a practice. You build it with small moments, consistent choices, and a willingness to return to yourself again and again.
And yes — it’s worth it.